Sunday, October 10, 2010

Moody Blues

It's starting to get dark here. Not in a metaphoric way - in an I live close to the fucking border of Canada and within a month the sun will be gone by 4pm way.

I hate it.

Today is a little taste of what's to come - it has been cloudy all day, the sun hasn't cast a shadow since it was first rising this morning. I feel spacey and lethargic, and like I can't quite remember who I am, how I muster energy to hang with the kids all day, get through meetings, socialize.

I know it will pass, it always does. I also know that this is the first winter since I moved away from sunny North Carolina in 1999 that I will try and get through it without adding to the numbness it creates in me with food.

Don't feel too bad for me - I've planned some strategic get aways including a week in Mexico as well as a long weekend in San Diego, visits from out of town guests, and a fantastic group of friends who remind me that if I can actually get my ass out of the house I enjoy myself.

Nonetheless - this stillness that I feel today in my head... not a good, zen still but a dull still, like all my thoughts and energy are being held down by a big grey could in my head that will not lift or burn off....

winter. ugh.


MommyOver40 said...

I know, especially the long days of wondering what to do with the children, so as to not feel like a failure-mom. When you have those days, call me. I'm having them too, and a distraction of having kids get-together either here or at your house may help. My John loves your children and would love to play with both, as would Baby Joey. PLUS, I'll have light beers coolin' in the 'fridge. (:

tz said...

Now that my oldest is eleven, I'm trying everything in my power to keep him in, but he just wants to go play at the park with his friends....ugh and to think I longed for this day.
Came across your blog from a comment you made on anymommy's blog and have to say, I was very entertained!

dearheart said...

Hang in there, my dear! We'll bring you sunshine in any form necessary. Three Splenda nonfat lattes, chick flicks, play dates, wine (whine) nights and more. Love ya, always.

MommyNamedApril said...

i can't even imagine. the seemingly endless summer heat for us (in fl) is oppressive, but i still don't think i could trade it for nighttime at 4pm.