In my mind I picture it as a snapshot. I see it through a window frame - a frozen moment where whatever is about to come next does not exist.
Having a baby, getting married, seeing a new country - once you experience it you know all about it - how it looks, feels, tastes, sounds, smells. You will carry that knowledge with you the rest of your life. In the moments just before there is this place that is the last time, the last place, you will not know.
That's me and Jeremy before. Before we knew Hayden, before we knew about the struggles that come with marriage, before we owned a house, when we could fit everything we collectively owned into his 1981 Toyota Corolla.
So many people have said to me: "are you so excited?" "can you just not wait?" the same questions I would be asking, but the answer is not what they are expecting. I am excited but I can wait a few more days. I am trying to create that picture in my head. The one before Zeni. Not because I don't want her to be a part of my life, or because I want her to be a part of me and my family, but because this is the last moment before I will never not know.
3 comments:
i do the same thing. i have a certain photo that reminds me of the "just before we knew of you" moments before each of my girls. not the excited...we are expecting you moment...but the "i had no idea you were with me" moments.
enjoy these last before-moments.
Hi there! I think I have pics of your little girl from our trip to Ethiopia. Was she in Gladney care end of April/beginning of May? You can email me. So excited she'll soon be in your arms! ~Shelly robertsfamily@mlgc.com
Is that a pit bull? We have a pit bull too! We love, love , love her! Your daughter is beautiful.
For breastfeeding there is an adoptive breastfeeding group on yahoo you should join. Start domperidone and you will get much more milk! I was going to breastfeed, was all ready, but now Im not...my son came home at ten months and just seems so grown up, I dont know....
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