The short version is that after we talked, Jeremy went snowboarding the next day and I went to the midwife and had my IUD taken out. By the time Jeremy got home that night I had a nagging feeling that I was perhaps acting a bit rash, and the look on his face when I told him what I had done was enough to confirm my suspicion.
It sounds crazy, but I think I needed to do that, to be fertile, to have the idea of getting pregnant feel real and possible, in order to really come to terms with the adoption. I now feel settled and excited and ready for our baby to GET HERE (should be getting "the call" within a month!). I still have a lot of the concerns I had before but they don't feel as scary or final or doom-filled as they did before. A lot of my friends who had second children biologically say they had similar concerns about their second children, and that makes me feel better as well.
So we continue to wait for a phone call, get our house ready to put on the market, search for a house in North Carolina, plan a cross country move, a new baby, chase after a two year old... I'm not sure why Jeremy and I like to cram multiple major life changes into small windows of time but it worked for us when we got married, bought our first house, moved from two different states, graduated from residency and grad school, and got pregnant all in one year so here's hoping the second times as charmed!
(Picture is Hayden with his new fake picture smile, unrelated to text but so cute!)