Tuesday, April 9, 2013

-70#

November 2013
I had weight loss surgery at the end of November 2012.  As of mid-April I am down 70 pounds, training for a 10k and buying clothes in single-digit sizes.  My ultimate goal is still 25 pounds away but, I must say, it feels amazing.

It feels amazing not because being fat is *bad* and being not so fat is *good* but because being overweight made me very unhappy.  Before my surgery I thought about weight all the time.  When I met a new person I would have this elaborate, perhaps slightly

April 2013
insane narrative running in my head about how they were immediately discounting me as an interesting, funny potential person-to-be-friends-with because I was fat.  Whenever I met a friend or colleague of Jeremy's I was sure they were thinking "he is so fit and handsome, what is he doing with a fat girl?"  I bought whatever fit, never felt sexy or cute or athletic, and was constantly berating myself about how I was going to become a diabetic and not be able to explore the world with my kids because I would be too sick or just not physically able. Constantly.  Like, it was in the back of my mind every minute.  

Now?  Now I don't think about it.  The tape in my head about how much I suck doesn't play as often.  Sure, I can and will find other things to pick on myself about but I will also know that there was something that I really didn't like, something that felt overwhelming and overpowering, and I changed it.  Sweet.

Sweet, and thank you for all your emails of encouragement and thank you to everyone who tells me I look great and thank you, especially, to my husband who shuns social media and will never read this but has been the most supportive, fantastic and loving partner I could have ever dreamed up through this entire process.


In other news, I survived Spring Break, Zeni had a great birthday, and we got a new puppy.  Rosie Dingo Cupcake is very small and very cute and has been projectile-pooping all over the house for 3 days.  Luckily her sweet little butt is still close enough to the ground that the explosions remain relatively localized.  Unluckily, there is carpet in our bedroom.


You're welcome.  Stacey and I are running a blog special - it's all dog butt all the time, with a little Listen To Your Mother on the side which, although I haven't written about much here yet, is going to be amazing this year.  We've been doing the show for three years now and I keep assuming that, statistically, we must be due for a "dud" year. A year where the auditions aren't amazing, or the cast doesn't take my breath away even though I have read and heard their essays tens of times at this point.  Nope.  This year's show promises the same mix of heart wrenching, crying, laughing, reflection and solidarity that the past shows have brought.  If you live in Spokane get your tickets, and if you don't live in Spokane don't despair quite yet - the show has expanded to this year to include my hometown, Jeremy's hometown,  and 21 other sites. Hot diggity!





9 comments:

Anonymous said...

A lurker coming out to say - you look fabulous.

anymommy said...

This made me cry. I hate that you felt that way and I'm so incredibly impressed and inspired by the change you made. You look happy, healthy, confident and awesome ... all the things you are.

Unknown said...

For what it is worth I always wanted to meet you and wished we could be friends - your funniness and intelligence was pretty darn obvious even on the internet. Bet it was/is even better in person. You look fantastic and I'm so glad you feel it!

Me. Us. She. said...

oops, that last comment was from me, A. :) (wrong google login.)

paddle attachment said...

Congratulations on all that you've lost and all that you've gained! Your resolve impresses me and your happiness is important to me. So happy for/with you!

Areej K said...

Congratulations! I feel so happy for you :) Please check out my blog as well

Kimberly @ Red Shutters said...

Lovely to meet you at BlogHer in the Serenity Suite! Congratulation on your weight loss journey--you're brave to be so open about it!

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