Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Update Number Next

Jeremy used to walk around the house dictating medical notes into the phone.  He is meticulous about having his notes organized and numbered but could never remember, while wandering in and out of the living room (where, each time he wandered in, I would turn up the volume on the TV because SHEESH, some of us are trying to hear what Sookie is saying!) which number he was on so it was always "number next".

So number next:

My surgery is tentatively scheduled for mid-December.  I am 2/3 of the way done with my monthly meetings with the dietician.  They have proved to be an exercise in doing what I do best, which is nodding and smiling and saying all the right things while rolling my internal eyeballs and thinking up snarky one-liners which I will never speak.  The diet people mean well, but I already *know* that in order to lose weight you need to take in fewer calories than you expel, that there are hidden sugars in everything and that carbs are a mortal enemy to be avoided at all costs.  I am not overweight for lack of knowledge about how to lose the weight.  Nonetheless the meetings are a requirement and checking them off and watching the months tick by feels good.
This month I have a bunch of appointments to get pre-operative testing done.  I have a few blood draws, an ultrasound of my thyroid and gallbladder, a 6 (!) hour appointment with a shrink where I take some test about weather I am mentally stable or not (don't worry, I'm wicked good at gaming those things, they will never know all the crazy things going on up here:)  Going to these appointments sucks.  Not only does it mean I am giving up one of my kid-free mornings hanging out in waiting rooms but it makes me feel sick and fat and like I suck.  I suck because instead of doing what normal people do, which is go on a DIET, which is free or (relatively) inexpensive and, you know, effective, I am being poked and prodded so I can be deemed mentally stable to have my body altered to protect it from my inability to lose weight.
Did you know you were coming to a pity party?  Welcome!
By the end of the month I should have all my pokes and prods done and then everything will be submitted to the vengeful profit above all else assholes insurance company who will hopefully say "why sure, and while we're approving your surgery, let's also make sure those displaced people in Liberia have enough iodine to treat their water and we'll throw in vaccinations for them while we're at it."

In others news September is a huge ball of suckage.  Not so much for me directly but I have many friends who have had crappy months and I'm ready to turn that calendar page to October and get on with it.  The kids love school, and I simultaneously miss them and lose patience with them the second they get home.  Oh, and we turned the heat on for the first time last night.


Issas Crazy World said...

Good for you for going through all the steps. I'm sure they suck.

I have a funny story for you. A friend of mine is attempting to do the same thing. Her insurance will only pay for it if she has like two things. Obesity, diabetes, sleep apnea and one other. You have to have two things. She only has the one. But she went and did the sleep study and she told the guy, so you do what you need to do, but when I leave here, I need to have sleep apnea, okay? He laughed at her. But she was totally serious. She was like, walk in and scream at me. Poke me. Whatever! We all laughed because she is a great sleeper. But they make you sleep on your back, which she sucks at and hey guess what!!! Sleep Apnea! Heh.

Lynn N said...

Hang in there, Kid. This time will go by so quickly and then you'll be blogging about how to deal with learning how to eat all over again.

I had WLS in 2005 (RNY) and it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

Congratulations on your upcoming surgery.

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